duologs | catchall.

[ So like, this quest is probably the GOAT as far as he's concerned. Getting to cuddle a zillion cats, for free, for as long as he likes? Dope.

The combination of having to go out each day to get snacks instead of having them delivered to his door (lame) alongside his absolutely atrocious sleep schedule (no sleep, only ON world adventures) means he looks like even more of a corpse than he usually does, dark bags under his eyes contrasting heavily with his already pale skin, but he can't bring himeself to care when Mr. Gregory Greybutt the Third is sitting in his lap purring up a storm. ]

Oooooh, lookit your fwuffy wuffy tail waving around like that. Aren't you sooooo cute? With your widdle pink beans and those big bwue eyes....Ooooh, I just wanna squeeze you...!

[ Has he noticed the second volunteer for the day stepping into the room to help in catcare duties? Absolutely not, and god help him when he finally does. ]

[ So here's the thing. He doesn't do parties. Like, nuh-uh, no way, no how, he is not dragging himself into some room packed full of prissy randos in fancy suits who would all point and laugh as soon as he opened his mouth. What kind of self-loving introvert would willing subject themselves to that torture?

With all that said....he is definitely at a party right now, stuffed in a suit with his unruly hair partially tied back so that he looks somewhat presentable (albeit lanky and pallid) instead of like the usual basement slob he is. The difference right now is that none of this is real. It's not happening in the OFF world but in some sort of virtual reality where HP recovery potions and stat-boosted armor are real and death just results in him getting DCed back into his room with a killer headache. It's great! It's fantastic! It's every nerd's dream!!

And because all of this is so much more akin to RPG questlines than real life, his usual reticence and fear at having to socialize with others disappears, leaving him almost confident as he squints around the room, though there's still a low muttering quality to his voice as he theorizes to himself. ]

I bet they're in the basement. The thieves always hide in the basement in classic RPGs. It's way too expected of a trope to pass up, and I didn't see any triggers setting this quest to hard mode.

[ At some point in the night, after one too many NPCs (partygoers) have shot a withering stare at him and depleted his internal HP bar to the red, Idia drifts over to where the grand piano is (because every fancy party's gotta have a private orchesta and also a piano, them's in the rules), mentally noting the melody drifting into the air as some guy plinks away at the keys and once again muttering to himself.

Despite the suit he's wearing, his hunched posture and inward tuck of his shoulders suggest he's not one of the expected partygoers at this place. ]

Wonder how many songs this rotation's got before they start repeating again....two? Three? No way the devs put more than that in the code, they gotta save the good stuff for the cutscenes.

[ Literally what code....but hey, whatever gets him out of acting like a wilting daisy at this party. ]

[ Attack of the killer bees....

There's a movie out there with that title, right? There's gotta be. And if there isn't, he's about to star in it because those bees are definitely beelining (haha, get it........) straight for him to inject him with a venom that'll paralyze and kill him. (They aren't. They're just buzzing idly next to some flowers.)

He's not prepared for this! He hasn't gotten the right gear for this! Where's his level 50 beekeeping suit that negates the first instance of poison damage, or his trusty level 69 staff that encases everything in a block of ice? Instead, all he has is this stupid net, which he's pretty sure adds a whopping +0 to all his stats. Maybe it even adds a -1 to his charisma. Ugh!

Instead of approaching the bees like a man, he stays huddled behind his tree. ]

I've never been stung by a bee before. What if I'm secretly allergic? What if I die? Then I'll lose all my progress!

[ Perish the thought. ]

Edited 2023-05-21 02:59 (UTC)

[Those are valid concerns, if a touch hysterical.

Roland, who's similarly positioned behind the tree for the sake of staying together, can't promise anything. He does wish to help however he can, though, and so procures a boutonniere from his inventory that he then holds out to Idia.]

I have here an item that will reduce aggression toward the wearer. Perhaps it will keep the bees' stingers at bay. Shall I lend it to you?

[ Oh, hang on, hol' up—

He perk up at the mention of an item, a small amount of enthusiasm returning to his figure as Roland searches through his inventory. Oooh, maybe it's some sort of sacred charm of protection, or a flute that'll put every animal and insect in a twenty-foot radius to sleep.

In the end though, it's just a dinky corsage. He wrinkles his nose. ]

Aren't bees attracted to flowers? Isn't this just going to make it worse?

[ C'mon, dude. ]

[There is an item that forces submission to a command. But the effect radius is a single target, and he has a feeling it won't do much for a swarm. It also occurs to Roland that Idia probably has a point about the flower.]

You might be right.

[He can't do that to his party member, so he takes the corsage and pins it at the left breast of his habit.]

In that case, allow me to serve as a distraction.

[ Knives played earlier in the evening, but given that his song was interrupted by a random NPC being slammed onto the top of the grand piano by a certain someone (not him, for once), there had to be a reset and someone else has taken the stage.

It's just as well, given that he's here for a reason beyond simply playing. He isn't used to performing for such a large audience, although he finds that he hadn't minded it all that much, though he'd felt his brother's gaze on him like a hot brand the whole time.

Regardless, he's here to complete the quest, which is to intercept a crime. He's scanning the area for clues when he hears someone nearby mumbling to himself.

There's only one other human he's ever met with blue hair, and perhaps that's why this stranger catches his attention, to say nothing of his chatter about devs and code, as if he's some sort of programmer. ]

... An NPC may be playing now, but that was hardly the case earlier.

[ He does know more than one song, he just greatly prefers it. But he didn't play that one tonight; it's a bit too personal for a situation such as this.

Despite his confident words, he isn't that used to wearing this kind of clothing either. It's one of the other clues that he maybe doesn't belong. ]

[ At the very least, Athanasia has seen a man look close to a corpse with no sleep and no good appetite recently enough, so she won't be too put off by his appearance. She will be a bit worried because that man was cursed and dying, but when Idia goes into that enthused baby talking, her concern abates.

She isn't a stranger to doing chores or work like this because of her past life, but it's been a hot minute because her current life is as a princess. He seems happy enough with the cat that she thinks it's better to let him be. It fits in with what needs to be done, and he can't be that bad if he acts like that around cats.

She kneels in her corner of the room and tries to silently lure a cat towards her with one of the wand toys.

She is doing her best to maintain Idia's dignity before he notices her. ]

Seriously?

[ Damn. And without any protest either. ]

You're really the chivalrous knight type, huh? Bet all the girls love you.

[ They do in RPGs!!! Which is obviously the only sort of instance that matters! Though none of them are gonna get any girls if they get stung by a bunch of bees and turn into puffed up pincushions. ]

W-wait. If you distract the bees and I catch them in the net [ bold assumption to make that his kick-ass video game skills will translate IRL ] where are we gonna put them after that? What if I trip and fall and the bees go flying out again?

[In reality, girls prefer to stab Roland than love him.

This is a conundrum, though. Is Idia clumsy on his feet? Roland, who cups his own chin with a hand, doesn't know him well enough—or at all, frankly—to feel right providing blind reassurances.]

The net was provided for the quest, yes? Perhaps it will store the bees away for us.

[Or it won't and they'll simply perish.]

[ HmmMMMMMm guy's got a point. This the ON world they're talking about. There's no way the head honchos would just give 'em an ordinary old net and call it a day, right? There's gotta be some special weapons trait to it designed especially for this quest.

If only they could have bothered to explain what it was.

Well anyway, the possibility that their net is in fact a fancy net give him enough encouragement to move forward. (And if it's just a plain old net? Guess they'll just die.) ]

Mmm, you're right. Would be nice if we could test it out first, but I guess that's part of the difficulty rating of the quest. Alright Knightman [ Roland ] go ahead and I'll follow with the net.

[Idia is not dying on Roland's watch. In other words, Roland will die first and then Idia can follow suit—

Knightman is probably not one of his identities. But now isn't the time for that, so Roland leaves their sanctuary behind the tree to advance on the swarm before either of them can change his mind.

The Drilbees buzz in place, seemingly agitated, before flitting over to the boutonniere pinned over his breast. Roland tenses on reflex, then relaxes his shoulders when not a single Drilbee moves to sting him. They crowd the flower instead, as if mesmerized by its bud, giving Idia the perfect opening to swipe the lot of them at once.]

[Really hate that her internal monologue is exactly his opening lines in this tag. Verbatim. Shoot them both, put them out of their misery.]

What the h-hell? Don't sound so excited about this! [Fukawa, who is only presentable today by way of VR magic, dons a dress that she should neither afford nor pull off. Bless custom rigging for making the impossible happen.

That said, you can't dress up a bad attitude. Her eyes narrow at her government assigned partner, whispering to him in a sour hiss.]

J-just because this is technically a video game doesn't mean we should just run in all g-guns blazing like maniacs! It still hurts to get shot, you numbskull!

If you go for the b-basement right away you'll get caught for sure. At least try to be subtle about it.

[ Birds of a feather flock together....or something like that. Fukawa's criticism of his obvious correct theory has him stiffening in response, his own lips curling downwards. ]

I never said we should run straight in there. Obviously we gotta be subtle about it.

[ What does she think he is, a complete n00b? As if. He hadn't gotten all the 'cheevos in all his video games from sheer beginner's luck. Although....he turns back to her, some of his previous annoyance turning to uncertainty. ]

Have you actually died here before?

[ Athy....truly such a kind and benevolent soul.

Unfortunately for them both, it's only a matter of time before he notices the presence of another person in the room. Specifically, a whole sixy seconds. It's not Athy's silent movement that grabs his attention but the meandering path of yet another cat, who brushes against his leg before sauntering towards Athy.

Aware that there's already cat in his arms but doubly aware that he can talk to two cats at once he coos towards this new cat. ]

Lookit you go, on your widdle paws with your tail all up in the AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEAHHHHH!!

[ Sorry to Athy's eardrums, the eardrums of all these cats in the room, and also the cat in his arms that immeiately gets held up like some sort of shield as soon as he sees Athy in her corner and let out a shrill shriek.

It's fine. Just give him a minute or ten to wish for immediate death. ]

[ Oh. Ow. Her hands fly up to cover her airs, the movement making the little fluffy toy at the end of the wand fly up. It's that motion that entices the cat to pounce on it. The combination makes her stumble back. Oof.

Once she regains her bearings, she speaks up. ]

I'm sorry if I startled you. I'm here to help, too.

[ She tries to seem as unassuming as possible, which isn't difficult for her. She may have flashy features with golden curls and eyes that looks like jewels, but anyone could snap her like a twig. ]

... If it's easier for you, I can go to another room.

[ He screamed so much and maybe looks like he wants to die. ]

No! [Said quickly.] And you know why? B-because I'm not some reckless gamer!

[Nevermind that he agreed to be subtle about it. Fukawa grumbles and fusses with her champagne flute.]

But fine. Wh-what is the grand plan then? Someone has to at least pretend to bid on something, or we'll look extra suspicious.

catchall.

athy.

fukawa.

knives.

roland.

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finally drags my post-vacay corpse in here

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extracts your organs