duologs | catchall

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[ of course we're doing fake dating, who do you take me for

that said, tsuru is not entirely sure what really 'couple activities' means... the fake memories help, at least, since they give him a better sense of what's considered normal in the modern world, but also he has never done a couple activity in his life.

he looks at penny. ]

This should be easy, right?

[ if you don't know then just fuckin yolo it.

but they can be outside crane city, in front of a bakery and other cute shops. this seemed like a good meeting place for a couple. a couple that they are. romance is alive and well. ]

[ trying to stop a robbery seems easy enough in theory, and at least tsurumaru has experience in quests like this where you have to blend in with your surroundings. is he always good at the blending in part? no. but, he's used to it!

so, like everyone else here, he's dressed up and mingling and eating a lot of fancy snacks. it's fine. even though he's eccentric he seems to know how to talk to rich people, at least, so there's that.

he also knows that someone else is supposed to be working this quest with him, so he just. squints at the crowd for a moment before walking up to v. ]

Have you tried the champagne?

[ gazes

anyway, they're going to be romantic now. they can be outside of tsuru's bakery that he is now just abandoning to go on a date with d. it should be fine, he does not care. he also has a lot of questions on what they should do on a date, but will ask none of them.

instead, he just grabs onto d's arm and laughs. ]

Well! Shall we go discover what a couple activity is, then?

[ he just assigns d also not knowing. ]

[Tags this so I don’t forget.

Very funny of Tsurumaru to assign him not knowing anything about dating. WELL, IN A SMALL WAY. Listen.]

Ah, yes, but first—

[He is already turning them both around to go back into the bakery. HELP.]

We need some snacks!

[ ah.

okay, back in they go then. he does not refuse this because it's funny... ]

I suppose I should treat you...?

[ he knows if this is a ""date"" that he should but also

this feels like being taken advantage of. ]

[V's always taken a less subtle approach when it comes to getting what he wants—both him and Vergil alike—but he can manage something a bit on the clandestine side, too. He’s dressed for the part, though perhaps his cane and dark markings on his skin, peeking out fro beneath his clothing, still allows him to stand out from the crowd — for good or ill.

He leans on said cane, flashing his new companion a tilted smile.]

Not yet. Should we grab ourselves a glass?

[And scope out the situation at hand, goes very much unsaid.]

That's quite alright. It's my treat instead.

[Because Tsurumaru "runs" the bakery. And also, D is assigning Tsuru spoiled bottom as recompense for being assigned not understanding the norms of dating. It's fine.

Tsuru is so lucky he is a sword and not a human. D is being nice.]

Let's get one of everything. No--two of everything.

[Which seems sweet; one for each of them. But no. D may want two of some of them for himself.]

[ you didn't give me a preference so i am making you deal with horny bees

anyway. after getting this quest, tsurumaru will just. look at buzen and go hmmm. hmmmmm. ]

We could go get flowers, or...

[ he holds up a net rather excitedly. it's pretty obvious which option he prefers, even if it's the stupider one. no. because it's the stupider one. ]

[ well! dealing with cats shouldn't be an issue, he thinks. tsurumaru is basing this off of nothing, he is just making the assumptions that this will be simple.

but then they get to the house. and tsuru sees the state of it. there's a long pause, and he turns to look at hikari. ]

Ha ha ha. This place stinks.

Edited 2023-05-22 23:03 (UTC)

[ also makes you deal with horny bees

but here they are, facing the horde of bees. or... at least, they are standing at a safe distance from them, but i guess technically they are still facing them. tsurumaru places his hands on his hips, before turning to kaveh. ]

Do you have any idea on how we should approach this?

[ their bee problem... horny bee.... ]

[ had to debate on whether to pick matsooey or moose but matsui is funnier for the prompt. which is fake dating.

anyway. tsurumaru just looks at matsui, extremely amused but he keeps his expression pleasant. ]

So. What shall we do first, then?

[ on their date... which they are on, together. as a loving couple. who is dating. ]

Ah... that's fine. Let's find someone to take the order.

[ there's a pause

and then tsuru is just going to waddle behind the counter so he can just be the person to take the order. this is so stupid. he truly feels like he is being conned here, but it's fine, he is not invested in this bakery that for some reason belongs to him. ]

[hikari holds up a hand to cover his nose and mouth with the delicateness of someone who doesn't want to look rude, but. yeah. it smells.]

... Such a thing is expected from pets, but this is perhaps worse than I expected...

[he takes a step forward.]

Nevertheless, it shows how much Mister Abe is in need of assistance.

[i

HELP. D watches Tsuru go from the customer to the proprietor of the establishment in several quick steps. He

clears his throat gently.]

Ah, yes. My date-- [He glances beside him, then pauses, then looks back at Tsuru and quickly carries on.] Well, we would like to have two of each of your selection. We are... [Thoughtful.] We'll be going to the park for a bit, and we'll need snacks.

[...]

It really is such a shame you are one of the few bakeries.

Oh, yes. After all, why say no to fee drinks?

[ it's not every day one gets to spend time with people who spend this much money. and, more importantly, spend time with how much they spend on drinks and appetizers.

but he will wander over to the table with the glasses, walking casually. ]

Seen anyone interesting tonight?

[And so he wanders along with him, only a few paces behind. At the table beyond, or perhaps from the trays of servers flitting to and fro, where they can pick up a flute of something amber and bubbly.]

Oh, everyone's interesting in their own way. The outfits are a delight.

[Not helpful, V. But indulge his joking for a moment.]

Or less cats.

[ he does not sound like he actually means this though, since the more pets the merrier, right? tsurumaru should have no opinion on this he would be a horrible pet owner outside of a single chicken (just throwing out a wild pet example out there).

but he'll use a sleeve to cover his nose because he's rude. at the very least, because of how much the sleeve covers it doesn't look extremely obvious what he's doing. ]

I guess we should locate the little guys first and go from there. Are you good with animals?

It makes it a memorable experience, at least.

[ tsuru glances over at the black space that he once occupied by d's side, and nods, as if he is greeting himself. got to be polite to the customers, who is himself. ]

What are your plans at the park?

[ this is a nosy business owner asking questions to a regular. but it is also tsuru trying to figure out what the fuck they are doing. ]

I think some of them are worth more money than my bakery makes in a year...

[ he thinks? tsurumaru does not budget for his au bakery and it's a miracle it has not closed down by now or that he hasn't been arrested for tax evasion. he doesn't think about it very hard. ]

But I suppose that's life wherever you go. The rich are always rich.

[yeah imagine tsuru owning a chicken wouldn't that be wild]

... I am not experienced in taking care of them beyond horses [out there pinocchio is trying to wrangle him into becoming a pet owner] but I don't think I'm bad with them, at least.

[in theory he could've also been a fake cat boy at some point but anyway]

I have a friend back home who is oft accompanied by creatures in battle, at least.

Oh, same! Although I hated horse duty...

[ he did not like to deal with horse poop. he doesn't think he'll like cat poop any better, actually. for someone who is so chaotic, tsuru really does hate getting dirty.

he will step a little more into the house... catte??? no. just silence. they're out there. ]

Perhaps we can channel your friend's spirit for this.

I will do my best.

[

but he pauses because he doesn't know how to summon cats]

... Are they afraid of us, perhaps?

... perhaps! We are attractive, yet strange, men! I would also be hesitant to approach.

[ don't compliment yourself.

he walks over to a table and lifts up a magazine to look underneath it. no cat. ]

Should we split up? We may get attacked in unfamiliar territory...

[tsuru.......

but he nods very seriously.]

Very well. Maintain vigilance.

[actually he's going to see if he can locate where the owner keeps the treats...]

catchall

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penny 🌼

v 🥀

count d 🌹

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buzen 🏍

hikari 🗡

#9 blorbo 🌱

matsui 🩸

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